


City of Stars

by midnightshon



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:27:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25463218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightshon/pseuds/midnightshon
Summary: Then again wasn’t this why they’d stuck with each other for so long?
Relationships: Ahn Hyejin | Hwasa/Jung Wheein
Kudos: 17





	City of Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then again wasn’t this why they’d stuck with each other for so long?

That night Wheein lay in bed, listening to the faintest noise coming from the bathroom, of water hitting the tiled floor. It was soothing somewhat, and she was sure to have almost fallen asleep when the connecting door opened. Ahn Hyejin emerged, turned the lamp switch off, and went outside. When she came back, she caught Wheein’s eyes, but said nothing as she started drinking from a glass she brought.

It could be her distorted vision from an interrupted (almost) sleep, but Hyejin was looking at her differently. It was as if she had something to say and knew Wheein had, too, and was deliberately not talking so Wheein would first.

Wheein continued to stare. Partly because Hyejin was in her over-sized white tee and red underwear, and her hair was messy and not fully dry yet. (Wheein would say she’s a hot mess, but technically she had just showered.) The other part was, well, because she had nothing to say.

In the end, Hyejin finished her water, set the glass aside, and climbed into bed next to her. She was on her side, pressing her front to Wheein’s side and chin on Wheein’s shoulder, arm thrown across Wheein’s stomach. The sigh that left her was... grateful?

Wheein turned to look, bumping their noses in the process, and asked, “You holding up OK there, Miss Ahn?”

Hyejin had the energy to scoff. “Yeah, just processing.”

She waited, knowing that Hyejin would eventually tell her.

Hyejin let out another sigh as she opened her eyes, allowing Wheein to see those brilliant brown orbs and what may hide behind them. “It’s a combination of ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘thank you’ I think,” Hyejin started. Her hand moved to tuck a strand of hair behind Wheein’s ear. “I thought I had done my best and didn’t realize I was lacking, so I’m sorry, but despite all that, you’re still here, so thank you.”

 _That_ was not what Wheein had expected at all. (What had she expected Hyejin to say anyway?)

She pulled back, feeling like she’d been blown away by Hyejin’s words, and took a good look at the other girl. It was that somber look again. Wheein had noticed it earlier, but thought Hyejin was just tired.

“Hyejin,” she began, but closed her mouth again. Holding Hyejin’s wrist, she sat up and nudged Hyejin to follow suit. “Why don’t you walk me through what resulted in this conclusion?” she asked, unsure if they really had to have this conversation now, two in the morning, a few hours away from their first schedule of the day.

Hyejin must’ve thought the same, and Wheein could see she was fighting the sleepiness, too, but she compelled.

She waited. “Well?”

Another deep sigh, then Hyejin looked her in the eye. “It’s what you said during radio broadcast today.” Getting no immediate reaction from Wheein, she added, “About who you would date if you were a guy.”

Ah. About that. Wheein frowned. “What about it?” To be honest, Wheein did not remember it all that well. That’s what comeback schedules did to her; the day passed by in a blink of an eye and she remembered none of what she’d done throughout the day yet was left with the exhaustion all the same.

It was part of the speedy question game, if she was not mistaken. Wheein had been asked who she would date among the members if she were a guy.

“You said you wanted to date yourself,” Hyejin provided, as though had been eavesdropping on Wheein’s thought. She looked down and played with Wheein’s hand that was on her lap. “You said it’s because you wanted to treat yourself well.”

Her memory finally caught up with her. She remembered Hyejin’s disappointed “forget it” comment when Wheein said it wasn’t Hyejin whom she wanted to date, unlike her initial, panicked answer. The tone was playful, suitable for broadcast, and Wheein had laughed in response. There was no playful tone masking her words this time; it’s just Ahn Hyejin, sad and regretful Ahn Hyejin laying out her emotions bare for Wheein to see.

“So, you see—”

“No.”

“—I can’t help but think—”

“Hyejin, don’t.”

“—that all this while—”

“Ahn Hyejin, stop.”

Hyejin caught her eyes and smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She touched Wheein’s shoulder to bring herself closer, legs easily finding their places on Wheein’s sides. What she said next, she whispered in Wheein’s ear. Wheein was grateful for that; any louder, and it would break her.

“Have I not loved you enough?”

She turned her head a little, catching the ghost of Hyejin’s breath on her cheek. She lifted her hand and pressed it to Hyejin’s neck, desperate to keep the other girl close. “I didn’t mean it that way,” she said, hopefully convincingly.

The burning question was there (they’d spent years by each other’s side; the idea of one unable to read the other’s mind sounded unrealistic), but Wheein didn’t know how to put it simply—that it wasn’t Hyejin, it was Wheein; that it wasn’t Hyejin’s love that was lacking, it was Wheein who wanted more (of what?); that it would be selfish to ask Hyejin for something she didn’t even know what. Wouldn’t it better if she burdened her guy self with that task if she could?

She felt Hyejin’s lips against her shoulder, her next question tattooed on the skin. “Do you think it’s because you’re stuck with me that you don’t know what you’re looking for?”

“I’ve found it.” She pulled back, searching for Hyejin’s eyes. “I’ve found _you_.”

Hyejin’s smile was soft but, accompanied with a tilt of her head, it was challenging, begging to disagree. “We were thirteen,” she said.

“It sounds like you’re breaking up with me.”

“If that’ll make you happy.”

Wheein paused, and simply looked at Hyejin. She’s tired, they both were, and they were supposed to be sleeping however little they could because they were still in the middle of promotion, and not musing on… this, whatever this was.

(A what-if scenario where Wheein had never met Hyejin, hadn’t grown up with her, hadn’t fallen for her charm and antics.

Her hand flew to catch Hyejin’s arm out of reflex, grounding her back to reality, away from the lonely alternative she could’ve ended up living in.)

Then again wasn’t this why they’d stuck with each other for so long? Because they were so alike, and had the situation been reversed she knew Hyejin would indulge her in her sad thoughts just the same.

She blinked back her sleepiness, and averted her gaze to Hyejin’s hair. It was still a bit damp, the color shifting a shade darker, but Wheein remembered that the red was already fading. She liked this color on Hyejin; it brought out the brown in her eyes. She wondered if Hyejin would dye it red again or choose a different color, something brighter maybe, or back to her trademark black hair. Unlike Wheein who got bored easily and changed her hair color and style every so often, Hyejin had only changed her hair color now after almost two years.

But it’s different, Wheein frowned to herself. Being with Hyejin wasn’t a choice she would stop making just because she was bored—she was never bored.

Fingers found their way to Hyejin’s hair, pushing red locks behind her ear, and Wheein marveled at the way Hyejin melted into her touch, how her eyes closed and for a moment Wheein was spared the sadness that seemed to have etched permanent behind them.

She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Hyejin’s mouth. “I haven’t been thirteen in many years, you know,” she said.

Hyejin hummed, turning her head a little to nuzzle at Wheein’s palm.

“Remember how we had so little when we left for Seoul? I think I barely filled up a luggage.”

“Me, too.”

“You had one bag full of chips.”

“Which I ended up not bringing,” Hyejin said, “because you said your aunt would make us food when we arrived.”

Wheein shook her head, recalling how sad Hyejin had been because she could’ve eaten those chips on the way, realizing her attempt to cheer Hyejin up was failing because now she was just adding to her sadness with regret about the abandoned bag of chips.

“We could buy some now,” she offered.

“We could.”

“But I wouldn’t have chosen differently even if I could.” Wheein paused, waiting for Hyejin to open her eyes and look at her. Which she did. Her eyes were heavy with exhaustion, but curious all the same. “You’re all I brought with me, and you’re still my favorite piece of luggage.”

At last Hyejin smiled, and it pushed aside the exhaustion and regret clouding her eyes. She covered Wheein’s hand with her own. The warmth spreading from her touch told Wheein that she got it. Then she scooted closer, eyes sparkling with a different kind of curiosity now. “Do you think we can really go for a drive and get some chips now?”

Wheein groaned. “Ahn Hyejin, no.”

\--------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since wheesa have put me out of job with their better-than-fanfic moments, I’ve decided to muse on the angsty alternative of those canon, perfectly-normal-sometimes-crack moments for fun.
> 
> This one is not related to Anyejin’s birthday at all, but I’ve said I would make a oneshot to celebrate her birthday many times before so here it is. After four years. Happy birthday, Anyejin!
> 
> \- midnightshon
> 
> P.S. The moment in question was from 181204 Hope Song Radio https://youtu.be/ePYFeyGkV5A?t=1861 (god help me how to embed link to ao3 note section).


End file.
